Dating is hard, in 2020. We live in a hectic world, always busy with updating our status (online and offline), working also when we are resting, monitoring our online reputation even when we don’t even have one. Who still has the time for a traditional date?
Fortunately, there is Tinder.
Tinder – as well as other apps – has changed the way we date. By saving us the time and money spent on dating people are free to spend their time as they please. Let’s be frank, who goes on dates just for the sake of it?
But when another match is too much? This app is subtly changing the way we live and the way we approach romantic life. The way we travel and perceive our identity are also changing. And not everything has changed for the better.
Some dating apps are very successful. But in some ways, they can be difficult to approach, just like a lavish choice of “goods”, like in a well-stocked supermarket.
The distress caused by an excess of choice can be paralyzing; while “tindering”, it’s evident that profile descriptions are filled with the same stereotypical wordings, ranging from the cynical to the cheesy to the motivational-romantic. Profiles pictures are similar, with the same poses and same styles.
With such a confusing and trivial conformity, how can one really make a choice? Arranging an in-person date often takes some real effort: the risk of a real-life disappointment is always pretty high, compared to the apparent low cost of virtual self-deception.
Another risk, however, is to end up home-alone, spending a whole evening with an empty screen, instead of just going out and seeing real faces, no matter if those faces are less pretty and fancy than expected.
Those who successfully use dating apps and sites, find that they can be very useful when it comes to ‘fast-food relationships’; for night outs, with no strings attached or for an adventure during an exotic vacation. When it comes to building something more stable, things get trickier.
The online conversations tend to be shallow and meaningless; when choice is wide and the time is tight, few people will engage in serious conversations.
And even where the match results in a real date, and date goes well, you can never be sure that their counterpart won’t stop searching for another match.
Building relationships, takes time, patience, the ability to a listen when times are tough and a desire to share the good and the bad moments together. The issue arises in that when everything is running so fast these things are harder to do.
What will happen to relationships if at the first sign of disagreement or incomprehension, everyone can just turn on the app and switch to another face, looking again for a more superficial, uncomplicated connection?
What started at first as a way to facilitate relationship and human connections, may blatantly backfire: a new e-layer of complication in a life that it is already overcomplicated, overloaded and overstimulated.